0.6 Tiny Furniture

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“IF YOU DO NOT STOP CRYING I WILL FEED YOU TO THE TRUCK!”

Awwww, family ❤

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Oh hey Connor. Are you here for your new daughter or did you just want to get your feet removed?

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“Isn’t she beautiful?”

“I still think you should’ve named her Hedwig.”

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“Okay, goodnight sweetie.”

Let’s try that again.

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“What is that thing?”

Doormat’s daddy.

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“I don’ like it.”

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“It’s crying.”

Yes. Fix it.

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“..I don’t get it.”

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“Am I doin’ it right?”

“I have magically developed the power of speech just so I can hate you out loud.”

CONNOR TIGHTEN YOUR GRIP. D:

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“Burrito for me?”

Stawwwwp.

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“Here. Food. Stop trying to eat your young now, ‘kay?”

“Booooooo! I don’t know you but you’re the worst!

“Thanks for the moodlet, asshole.”

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“I sense that the negative moodlet I gave your founder finally went away. HAVE ANOTHER AJBDKJAHDKJDH.”

Go awaaaaaaaay.

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“But… But this is my home now!”

No.
-resetsim Connor Frio-

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“Marry me so I have enough lifetime happiness points to get the “murder a relative for cash” reward and move us somewhere with a locking door?”

“Eh, ok. BRB gotta deal with some baby poop first.”

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Romance!

I’m preeeetty sure this is against the rules but I think they already broke them by making a baby while I wasn’t looking. Notmyfaultshhhhh.

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I was going to build them an underground lair but then my OCD tried to strangle me so I made over a base game house! This is actually legal in a Random Legacy which may or may not be the reason I chose to do one.
And by “may or may not” I mean it totally is.

… Tour time?
… Tour time!

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Varmoire’s bedroom is completely unremarkable and un-noteworthy save for the ominous makeover corner.

“Look into my depths!”

No.

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The hallway is guarded by Smustleface.

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Varmoire apparently believes in efficient traumatization.

Lenny the Evil Freezer Bunny’s mouth is just the right size for a toddler, isn’t it?

“I don’t bite!”

You don’t?

“No! I CHOMP!”

Ah. Well that’s okay then.

Lamp: You didn’t make me maaatch.

Get out of my shot and shut up. Only cool inanimate objects get dialogue.

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This is where Vanity and Armoire occasionally get two minutes of sleep. I don’t know where the painting came from so I’m just going to assume it came from Vanity’s elven kin.

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And here’s the classy as shit dining room. The table is glass so Armoire can see and slaughter all the germs and the chairs are placed far apart because if anyone accidentally spit on her while eating she’d probably boil herself alive.

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The living room clashes far too wonderfully to be changed and the kitchen and bathroom are a kitchen and bathroom.

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“The grain of the wood has an irregular pattern and the border on the wall is just a little bit too light to match and one of my eyebrows is raised more than the other and-“

I gave her a makeover to match her new crazed housewife personality.

“My back feels crooked.”

You have something on your face.

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“Hee hee. Baby.”

Awwwww-

“Step back a little, you’re breathing on her.”

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THUD.

“Uhm, babe?”

Vanity, what did you-

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Vanity: I think I broke it. Do I get, like, insurance money for this?

Endtable: ❤ Smile !

Armoire: I don’t know whether to hide my baby or myself.

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Everyone looks exhausted and grumpy and mad and Endtable’s all “I love my family and the camera and life! I’m a baby! Gaa goo yayyyy!”

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“Honey, I find the evil rambling a lot more endearing when it isn’t about me.”

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“Why do I have to be the one to watch them”?”

Because you’re psychotic and get flooded with happy moodlets every time you see your children cry.

“Sometimes I like to just stand over them and laugh.”

Um, Armoire? Wanna take over?

Hey, guys, let’s play a round of Would You Rather!
Would you rather be stuck in a small cage with…

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Fluffs…

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… or Lucky?

“I looooove yoooou…”

connor

connor2

connor3

connor4

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Vanity, did you drop him again?

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“They’re sparkly like my soul!”

Shh, nobody’s taught you to talk yet.

Oh, wowee! He look just like his mom! What an unbelievable surprise.

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“Come luff me?”

I think she only finds you interesting when you’re in pain.
Actually, this sounds like the set up to one of Connor’s fics.

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Would You Rather round two!

Would you rather be murdered by Fluffs or Robo-Bearbot?

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I’m coming to loooove you…

You cut that shit out.

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“Iss ‘kay. Yew don’ havta feed me ‘r luk at me ‘r let me owt ‘r anythin’…”

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“Pssst. Hey, kid. Open your mouth and I’ll toss you some scraps.”

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“Dada!”

“… I’m not sure how I feel about this.”

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“Hey baby, I’m going to teach you about the world.”

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“The dark, dangerous world where everything and everyone is trying to kill you.”

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“THIS HAND REPRESENTS THE UNIVERSE.”

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“Aaaaah iss tryin’ tah get me!”

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“It’s okay, baby. Nevereverevereverever leave my sight and everything will be just fine.”

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“Can you say pooooond?”

“Pawwwend!”

“Good! Stay away from ‘em or geese will drown and eat you.”

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“Can you say disssssk?”

“Didshk!”

“Great! Don’t look directly at them or you’ll get distracted and cut your cute widdle head off!”

“Decapitayshun!”

“Good boy!”

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“Can you say police?”

“P’weese men! An’ women!”

“That’s right, Endtable. Well, they follow you alllll the time and the very second you leave my side after dark they’ll swoop in and grab you!”

“Cwininal wecord!”

She’s right about this one actually.

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“Can you say diiiishes?”

“Dishush!”

“Good! Now Mommy has to go and wash them right now or the flies will come and we’ll allllll die!”

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“AYAMYAMASUASAJSJS.”

Whatcha doing?

“Making sure I stretch all of the corners of my mouth evenly.”

Oh of course.

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This picture is included to a. cleverly segue from night to day and b. show how badly Endtable’s just been traumatized.

“Everythin’ wanns me dead!”

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Doormat gets a cake because I feel guilty about her name.

“VANITY YOUR STINK CLOUD IS GOING TO EAT MY BABY.”

“It’s not a stink cloud. It’s just my fabulousness literally overflowing!”

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Holy crap she’s PURPLE. I thought she was a weird off-grayish color. Also, she doesn’t look exactly like Vanity!

“Get oudda mah face, sparklies.”

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BAM!

“Teach me to walk so I can stomp on things.”

This post didn’t have a proper intro so I’m not doing a proper ending either. Nyeeeeh.

0.5 Clones > Zombies

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Are you sure you want your fetus to ingest brains?

“Yes.”

Hey everyone, and welcome back to the Chance Legacy! I know I’m prone to mini chapters but I’m determined to meet Vamoire’s inbred demon spawn this play session/chapter! I’d speculate on what it would look like but I guess this generation’s first baby won’t be wowing us with its genetic diversity.

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The last kid who got close enough to see who was driving the truck is still missing.

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Going to work?

“No.”

It literally kept dropping out of her queue. Are divas like, programmed to disobey or is Vanity just possessed?

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In preparation for her baby Vanity made the world’s saddest looking toybox. And apparently, practiced knocking out predators.

That’s… cute?

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Armoire’s making herself useful by shouting world domination speeches at Vanity’s belly. Their shared and ignored ltw is to be emperor of evil.

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“Hey Connor? You told me to dress up and meet you here?
… Connor?”

“His eyes were teary, love filled diamonds. Despite his wealth Draco had never seen a gem so precious. He knew the ring hidden between his nervous palms would never shine as brightly, but he knew Harry would be kind enough to pretend.”

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“Um, Connor? You wanted to see me..?”

“Those beautiful emerald eyes smiled, and so did those butterfly soft, petal colored lips. “Yes,” his lover choked out, and with that one word he accepted and forgave everything Draco was and everything he had done in those many years he had been under his father’s spell. The spell he had broken out of when he had reunited with Harry and learned that there things more precious than his father’s approval. Things such as sweaty man sex.”

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“’Look at me now, dad!” Draco screamed as their lovemaking began to reach its climax.
Suddenly Harry began to sob. ‘I wish
my dad were here to see this.’
”’Oh darling,’ the Slytherin princed cooed, ‘I’m sure your father is watching us from heaven. And Dumbledore and Mad-Eye and surely Severus too.’
Comforted, the two men resumed showing their love and devotion to each other via their penises.’”

“Ooh, this is getting juicy…”

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Twenty yards away Vanity suddenly feels the need to vomit.

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“Oh my god, Connor, that was so romantic!”

Really?

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Really?

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“Shall I carry you off to bed, Dra- Armoire?”

I thought you guys were the sane siblings!

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“Hey social bunny, I just got laid!”

“I know, I watched the whole thing!”

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Jared, I thought you were supposed to be the ladykiller.

“I’m going to make him into a hot dog.”

“Woof woof I’m a cute puppy don’tkillmeplz.”

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I like how the walk of shame is replaced by the stride of pride.

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“Thumbs up on the maternity clothes.”

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“And congratulations! I could hear the pregnancy jingle from all the way over here! … Along with some other things…”

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I don’t think you quite understand the concept of maternity clothes.

“Who is this smiling polaroid and why does it kill all my photo opps?”

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That seems safe. And Armoire, don’t you dare.

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“*gasp* Celebrities sleep just like everyone else!”

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“OHEMJAY they also do laundry?!”

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“I’m really worried about what’s going to be on the front page of tomorrow’s paper.”

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“Booooo! More lesbian makeouts!”

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Goddammit, is the statue coming to life?

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Oooooh.

“IMMAEATYU.”

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“BRAIIIIIINS.”

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“Seriously lady, you’re killing my buzz.”

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“Pfffffft. Anyone can do what you do.”

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Braiiiiiins. DEEEEEATH. Doooooom. Blahblah zombiecrap blah.”

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“You’re hurting my feelings :c”

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“IMMA CRACK OPEN YOUR HEAD WITH YOUR HAMMER AND EAT YOUR BRAIN LIKE A CAKE.”

“Mmmmmhm. You go girl. Keep on dreaming big.”

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“Rarrrrgh, I have risen from my grave to-“

“Seriously dude, don’t even bother.”

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“Mmmm, braaaaains.”

“See, now you’re just being a dick.”

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“DOOOOOOOOOM!”

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“<3!”

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“I have a tail. Take it off.”

Noooo it’s so cute. You’re a pregnant bunny!

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“Oh, hello. You’re the clone. Did you and Vanity accomplish any of your evil plans?”

“I got her pregnant. And then our neighbor got me pregnant. And now I’m a bunny.”

“You’re terrible at this whole evil deeds business.”

Actually, that’s why I sent her here. Armoire, drink your potion.

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I’ve always been disappointed that she came with the same personality as Vanity and she never seemed all that evil to me. Also I just really like elixers. Hence the dramatic potion sequence!

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“Tada!”

Are you a totally new sim?

“Nope. I’m exactly the same except I like dogs now.”

Boooooo.

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Connor’s unsure of how he feels about the pregnancy. However he is absolutely positive that Armoire’s bunny suit is rad.

TS3W 2013-06-03 14-14-11-79

Sad smile

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“I feel like I’m missing something.”

Mm, nothing too exciting.

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“I think it’s starting to eat its way out. Where’s the daddy?”

At her baby daddy’s house.

“Wanna get her over here for me?”

No, it’s way too funny watching you try to walk in heels right now.

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“I think you just squished it so I’m just gonna go back to bed now.”

“Y’know, normally I love it when your evil trait decides to surface but this is so not the time.

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“What are you in for?”

“Setting myself on fire. You?”

“Knocking myself up.”

Cool.

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“Ahahaha I can hear her screams from out here.”

This is a grossly inappropriate time for that moodlet. Now get in there with her!

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“Naw, I’m going home.”

:c

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“Shouldn’t you get that healed?”

“Naw, I think I’m gonna keep it. It looks badass and gives me an excuse to strut around in my underwear.”

Ever since then Vanity’s been rolling wants to sculpt her and impress her and I’m in complete agreement.

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“Who’s mommy’s little minion?”

Meet Endtable Chance, a good virtuoso that-

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“GOOD?!?!?”

He likes yellow and indie music and I imagine he’ll spend his life trying to fix his mom through the magic of song and music.

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Good luck you little- gah! Why does it look like that?

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“MY EYELIDS FEEL UNEVEN AND ONE OF MY NOSTRILS IS BIGGER THAN THE OTHER AND I FORGOT TO HAVE MY MORNING JUICE AND I ALWAYS HAVE MY MORNING JUICE AND 4 8 12 16 20! 5 10 15 20! 4 8 12 16 20! 5 10 15 20! WAIT NO-“

20,000 lifetime happiness points bought her a full new personality! Her new traits are neurotic, family oriented, nurturing, computer whiz, and party animal. She’ll be the type of overprotective mom that won’t let her kids leave the house without supervision and rushes to the Web MD everytime they sneeze. She’ll probably throw lots of parties that she’ll spend hovering over the guests asking if they want something to drink and what kind of cup they want it in and how many ice cubes do they want and when do they-

I have a fairly dramatic case of OCD so I’m going to have fun with this. Smile

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“Whaaaat?”

Holy crap Armoire, just let go of the baby already.

“But what if it doesn’t love me or what if it gets sick or what if someone steals it or-“

Release the fetus or I will make you sleep next to a pile of dirty plates.

“OH LOOK IT’S BABY HAVING TIME.”

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Are you going to help her out?

“No, for two reasons. One: REVENGE. Two: I’m not leaving my baby alone with the stalker paparazzi guy.”

Good call.

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“I wanna hold her tight and nevereverevereverever let her go!”

Meet Doormat Chance, a perceptive grump who likes green and keeps her love of pop music very well hidden. I’m guessing that by fifth grade she’ll be smoking and blackmailing all her teachers.

Tiiiiime to roll for generation 1!

Whichever little angel (?) grows up to be heir will have to follow these parameters:
Family structure: Couple + friend
# of children: 1
Primary income: Job hopper
Secondary income: Part-time job
Generation 1 goal: Expansionist

Of course this won’t be very relevant for quite a while but it’ll be good to keep in mind as they begin to grow up.

I was going to do two chapters today but this chapter was huuuge (for me) so nyanyanyanyanya you’ll have to wait a day or two for the next one.

 

0.4 20% of a chapter and 500% done

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“WHY HAVE YOU BEEN IGNORING ME?”

a. Real life stuff
b. My save file in Twinbrook is super fun right now

“My life is more interesting than yours.”

You live with your clone so I’m gonna have to agree with you.

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Um. Vanity, where are you, uh, going?

“Work.”

Oh, okay. Carry on then.

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“Ewwww, that cabbie is totally perving on me.”

You’re right. You’re clearly a very classy woman who does not deserve to be gawked at like this.

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“Oh hey Justine.”

“Hey Van.”

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“I like this town.”

Fun fact: His name is Maurice the XIII. If Vanity ever runs into him I’m going to make them breed and name their kid Maurice the XIV.

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“EEEeeeeeeee…”

She started to get up, saw the statue, and then sat there staring for twenty minutes.

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“I FEED ON HUMAN MISERY.”
”Awh, maybe I should keep it as a pet.”

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“Oh no, my beautiful vista moodlet!”

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She left work with her clothes and wishes to see all of her coworkers’ ghosts. Vanity, what the hell happened in there?

“I must dispose of the witnesses.”

Ok um then pls don’t tell me.

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So I sent Vanity home to wash away the blood and… um… I see two sets of clothes.

Vanity, who’s in there?

Vanity??

… Where’s Armoire?

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“Heehee, I’m cute.”

Oh hell naw.

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Guuuuuys, what about genetic diversity? What about my pretty rainbow Connor babies?

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“I don’ wanna.”

Don’t talk to me until you’re pregnant. AND NOT BY YOURSELF.

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“Vanity…”

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“Draco…”

Then they both rejected each other a bunch of times but I didn’t get any pictures because I was on the triple speed of RAAAGE.

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Somehow this all ended with them being friends.

“We’re The Fangirls!”

Oh, and forming a band.

Smiley Memory Picture Face: I’m their #1 fan!

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“Heheh, totally just nailed myself.”

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“Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go throw up.”

Oh HELL no.

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I’m officially not putting up with Vanity any longer today so I’m cutting the chapter off here.

Will the Fangirls get any fangirls? Will I delete Vanity in a blind rage? Why is the toilet covered in vomit while Vanity vomits water?

Next chapter: Babies! Romance! More than 500 words!

I apologize for the length and delay. Expect multiple chapters tomorrow. Winking smile

0.3 drarryluver69

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“Do you… do you feel watched?”
”AWL I FEEL IZ LUV FUR YEW.”

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Vanity, stop scaring the teenagers.

“Why does he have someone and I don’t? My face has such better proportions!”

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“SHE’S JUST GOING TO LEAVE YOU ONCE SHE SEES YOU IN PROPER LIGHTING!”

Anyway, welcome back to the Chance Random Legacy which is clearly doomed unless Vanity learns to behave herself. Technically I could also impregnate Armoire but I don’t want Vanity to get the idea that cloning herself is the solution to all of her problems. Two of her is more than enough.

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Hmm…

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Hmmmm…

Armoire, I have come to the conclusion that you should make cute rainbow babies with him.

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“Ugh. No.”

Aren’t you supposed to be Easily Impressed?

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“Oh, um. I mean, my love! He is clearly my soulmate!”

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“But, my brother’s the expert in making bastard babies!”

Shut up, you’re my favorite.

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“Everywhere I go I make the scene
The ladies love to stroke me
I’m pimped out and lazy in my limousine
Oh, come on in here sweetie”

Aww, look who’s confident.

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“Plumbob, stop lying! I AM VERY DEPRESSED RIGHT NOW.”

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“No one appreciates what a hot piece of ass I am. I wish I could just breed with myself.’

Well you kinda could- I MEAN NOPE LET’S KEEP THAT IDEA FAR AWAY FROM YOUR EGO-INFLATED HEAD.

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“I HAVE HAD THE STARVING MOODLET FOR 2 HOURS NOW.”

You can eat when you’re pregnant!

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“Clearly you are not appreciating what a star I am.”

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Shut up, it’s beautiful. And if you don’t get your terrible ass fired I’ll carry out my very big and very awesome house plans.

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“Aww yeah, it’s man catchin’ time.”

Cut that yawning shit out. You can sleep after you’ve slept with her.

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“So, you’re an extraterrestial? Because I had been under the impression that our merciless god had not been willing to exchange her gold for that expansion.”

It’s called being frugal, you freak. And hey!

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“Numnumnumnom Smile

What are you… Is that..?

brainfreeze

DAMMIT VANITY THIS IS WHY NO ONE WILL TALK TO YOU.

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“I don’t get why I have to be the good twin. Vanity runs around making enemies and eating their brains and I’m dressed up in cutesy overalls and being ordered to catch fish. I’m evil too! I mean, I’m green for god’s sake!”

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“It seems our situations are parallel. Why is my brother the one who gets to copulate with females and classify other humans as ‘nerds’? I am unmitagatedly capable of such shenanigans!”

Why, you might inquire, have I begun writing Connor as a pretentious prick scholar?

fanfic

This is what he does for a living. I imagine he writes 50k+word fics about Harry recovering from PTSD and finding solace in the arms of Draco, his one true love. Of course, about 40% of his fics are emotional, sweaty, anatomically confused man-on-man sexing.

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HE IS TRULY THE CATCHIEST CATCH OF THEM ALL.

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Dammit Armoire. I know you want to prove your evilness but could you please refrain from killing your soulmates?

“I DON’T WANT TO GET MARRIED I WANT TO STAY SINGLE AND LET MY HAIR FLOW IN THE WIND AS I-“

Aren’t you forgetting your hopeless romantic trait?

“OH UM I MEAN MY PRINCE.”

That’s better. Now stop stomping on caps lock.

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Maybe you should have your rage fest somewhere where you’re less likely to be cannibalized for it?

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Vanity, go pick on someone who’s less scary than you.

“Oh Connor, you’re the Draco to my Harry… <3”

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-snickers- Vaaaaanity I maaaade you something.

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“HWAT.”

Um, how about I come back when you’re unarmed?

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GAH!

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“Heyyyyy kiiiiids… Come cloooooser… Step inside meeee… I haaaaave something for yoooooouuuu….”

Holy crap Eaxis, could you have made a more terrifying object?

Will anyone step inside the ice cream truck? Is Connor dead? Will Vanity ever do anything?

Pch, I’m totally not gonna answer any of those questions. See you soon, losers!

P.S. Do you guys enjoy the short frequent updates or would you prefer longer updates about once a week?

0.2 Hence the Name

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“WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME.”

Oh, Armoire! I see you’ve noticed the… cosmetic changes I’VE made. It’s just my little way of keeping you and Vanity from pulling any clever little switches on me.

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“Did you… Did you name me after a dresser?!”

Just keeping the furniture name theme going 🙂

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“Honey, you have picked the wrong-”

Yeah yeah, I’ve already heard this speech from the original copy. Now go down to the beach. I have something to show you.

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“Hello stranger! I am kind and have only good intentions. Please let me into your home.”

“Oh what fun! Of course you can come in, angry looking lady.”

Really? Are you absolutely sure this is a good idea, River? I think Molly shares my skepticism.

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“Y’know, it really hurts my feeling when people assume the worst just because I have the evil trait. That’s traitist!”

Aw, I guess you’re right. In the future I’ll try not to…

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… not to…

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… not to, um…

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YOU HORRIBLE CHUNK OF HUMANITY.

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“Yo, what’s wrong with your baby? She won’t stop screaming!”

TEN MINUTE TIME-OUT.

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“What did you want to show me?”

Your… future! *jazz hands*

“…”

*jazzier hands*

“… :(”

“jazz face?*

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Are you ready to play nice?

“Your music is garbage!”

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“Like, I can seriously feel my soul dying every time you flail your hand around on the strings.”

Vanity!!!

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“No actually she’s right. Molly! Molly staaaawp. Stop it Molly. Stop it or I’m kicking you out.”

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“Also your house is ugly.”

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“And your face is ugly.”

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“Basically just everything about you is ugly and terrible.”

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“SKAGFSDHIDJIDECLAREYOUMYNEMESIS!”

YOU HAVEN’T EVEN LET HER SAY A WORD TO YOU YET.

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“I’m great!”

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I kicked her out before Molly decided it was time to slap a bitch.

“She does know I’m her boss, right?”

I think Vanity’s going to be on toilet scrubbing duty for life.

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“I DUN’ LIKE IT.”

Maybe it would help if you were dressed more like a fisherman/woman/sim/alien/creature/thing.

“I… I guess it would be nice to have a different outfit than Vanity.”

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“Ok, I take it back.”

But you look so cuuuuute.

“I look like a fancy hobo.”

That’s kind of what you are.

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“WANT A TICKET TO THE GUN SHOW?”

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“Heyyyyyyy cutie.”

“Please leave me out of this.”

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“Get your sexy, prematurely graying genes in my belly, you stallion. -knaws on lip-”

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“No? How ’bout this one: let’s make babies, baby.”

Please stop. For the sake of this legacy, please, please, stop.

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“Put your-”

“-incoherent rage noises-”

“halp me :c”

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“-pants-”

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“I’m sorry, things are just really tough at home right now.”

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“BABY I’M STAHRVIN’… FUR YEW.”

Will we ever find a man that can tolerate her long enough for woohoo? How will Molly get her revenge? When will Vanity realize she’s named after a piece of furniture?

Find out next chapter. Maybe. Probably eventually. WE’LL SEE.

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“NOT SO UGLY NOW, AM I?”

PS. After this chapter the formatting and picture sizes get a lot nicer and more consistent. Bear with me, my newbness decreases with each post! 🙂

0.1 Double or Nothing

This is the moment of truth. The moment where I go on random.org roll the dice and see what the rules for this random legacy will be.

  1. Family structure: Single parent with help (move in a friend)
  2. 2 children
  3. Primary income: Culinary career
  4. Secondary income: Fishing
  5. Generation 0 goal: photogenic (get five photos/paintings/sculptures of founder)
  6. Miscellaneous goal: call no service sims
  7. I’m also gonna randomize all traits

-several minutes of silence as I fiddle around in CAS-

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Tada! I call her Vanity Chance and… ok, wait a sec-

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Okay, anyway this is my found-

“Why do I have elf ears?”

Shut up, you don’t have a personality yet.

-randomizes-

Okay her traits are diva (of course, she’s a chef), easily impressed (but only by herself), evil (because everyone’s beneath her),  hopeless romantic (this means she’s easy), and natural born performer (because the world is her stage.)

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“I absolutely cannot wait to turn around and see the beautiful palace you bought me!”
Yeah, actually I just moved you onto an empty lot, legacy style.
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“Me and my future husband are so gonna stomp on you.”
Yeeeeah, you’re kinda not allowed to get married either.
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“I’m going to start my criminal organization and then you will learn the true meaning of suffering.”
Um, I’ve actually got something else in mind for you.
“Does it involve killing people?”

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In a sense.
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“MNKJSDHIO:SFJSDJ!”

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“Honey, you picked the wrong diva to mess with.”

Sass me and I’ll breed you with Iqbal.

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“Why are you hurting me?”

Because of your uni-brow. And your name. Also your shirt. And your (lack of) hair.
Aw, this is mean of me, I’m sorry. I’m sure you’re really a very beautiful person.

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“That’s the nicest thing anyone’s-”

Ahahahaha oh jesus your nose.

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“… :(”

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-insert obligatory no driver joke-

Ahahaha I’m so funny and original luvmeplz.

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Suicide isn’t the answer you know. I’ll just make you have ghost bbs.

Oooh, actually that’d be pretty cool.

“You make me want to die.”

Doitdoitdoit it’d be so cool.

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“That’s it. I am not putting up with this treatment.”

Oh sure, what are you gonna…

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Wh-what are you looking up?

…Vanity?

Vanity what are you planning?!Image

“So, I’ve heard you’re the one to come to for this kind of thing.”

What kind of thing??Image

Vanity?

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Vanity?!

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… Vanities?

/supershortchapter

/cliffhangeromgwat

/kbyenow